In our everyday lives, we are surrounded by numerous tasks, to-do lists and responsibilities. Amid this, if a loved one cancels a long awaited plan or appointment, it is difficult to not take it personally. Easier said than done, it is natural to feel upset. But, to retain peace and self-awareness, it’s important to not take things personally, especially when you cannot change your circumstances.

In a motivational speech, communications specialist Frederik Imbo shares the secrets of acceptance and letting things go. Check out the TEDx talk here:

Frederik begins by explaining why we might feel offended or hurt. “Somebody says or does something and we feel hurt, neglected, offended, betrayed. That’s what we believe, though. It’s the other person’s fault; he’s responsible for what we feel. He’s the one to blame.”

He continues, “Who says that? Which part of us is speaking? It’s our ego. Our ego thinks that others should take us into consideration. Our ego doesn’t want to be criticised; hell no. Our ego wants to be acknowledged. I’m right. Is this what you want? Do you want to be right? Ahh, that’s exhausting. When my ego takes over, I’m fighting all day. I’m in a constant struggle with the rest of the world. And it drains my energy.”

He mentions 2 strategies to not take things personally:

‘It’s not about me’

“So the first strategy to not take it personally is: ‘it’s not about me’. Look at the other person’s intention. When a driver is tailgating and flashing his lights, he probably does it because he’s in a hurry; it’s not about me. You see it’s as simple as that, in theory. Because, in real life it turns out to be a hell of a job. Do you have any idea, ladies and gentlemen, how many thoughts our brain produces a day? 50,000!”

‘It is about me’

Frederik says, ”Give yourself empathy and speak up. Ladies and gentlemen, please, pretty please, do not take it personally, but I really do hope that you will take a couple of things personally within the next hours and days. Only if you do, you can test these two strategies. Imagine, just imagine if we could all put this in practice. Wouldn’t that enhance our relationships enormously? Together we could create a better world. Wouldn’t that be great?”

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By William Regal

Used to think I was a tad indecisive, but now I’m not quite sure.

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